Notice.
In true blog fashion, I’ve…
Heavily debated on whether or not to blog again.
If I were to start, what am I even blogging about?
How do I start this?
I’ve been in an off and on social media hiatus throughout 2024 — well, kind of because TikTok. However, I can say I’ve been deactivated on FB and IG for three whole months. Cheers!
It is Tuesday, Janaury 7, 2025, and I have been itching to write; to dump out my thoughts. But I’m going to scale back on the thoughts to be dumped, because the sense of self has strengthened and discernment has heightened.
Now, if you were to ask me, how would I describe or how did I feel about the last year…my initial answer would most likely be “oh, it was a good year.” But if you were to ask me on a deeper level, I’d say:
There were many things I’ve learned (we’ll dive deep, maybe.) There were many moments of being at rock bottom. But there were also many moments of reaching high peaks. It was a year that tested the “adulting” life in my 30’s through independence, living alone, and relying on myself to get through the day-to-day. While that may sound cliche for anyone who may have “gone through it”, the journey remains unique to each individual. And that journey for me was truly unique.
There were instances that I had to pull myself through to be like, “Chen, you got this. It’s only a couple more hours.” I sought for hope and looked forward to whatever the next best thing was, which in most cases, was getting through the day without overthinking. I was able to find ways of self-care that consisted of spending my Saturday mornings, in the living room, with a cup of something warm (usually coffee or green tea.) That was bliss. That was the moment of peace, joy, and happiness that I continuously pray and long for. And may I add, I developed a comforting interest of DJ set mixes on YouTube — check out: MISTAH CEE and Mike O’Leary. Saturday mornings have been a day to look forward to in the week, because I made time to just chill and relax. Additionally, Thursday mornings have remained another blissful morning, because I treat myself to a new coffee shop or drive around before heading to work. It’s a nice recharge after an early morning worship service before a full 8-hour day in the office.
To the things I’ve learned…it’s pretty extensive. To say the least, I learned about myself on a deeper level. Understood why I would respond in such ways; be it verbally or physically. Thankfully, I fought through and learned how to not take things so personally. And how to not internalize everything that has been said about me or how someone treated me. In which, there is always room for improvement. Have I lost relationships through it? Absolutely. Have I gained and strengthened the relationships that I value and have valued me? More than I could ask for. I pray that I grow through what was lost, and be renewed for what will be gained. In as much as recollections of the past resurface and I am reminded of what were “good times”, I can finally move forward and create better memories that will no longer hurt when looking back; but rather be a stepping stone on what awaits for me in the future.
I would love to go further but I feel like this was more than I anticipated. And of course, overwriting will stray into a tangent, thanks for stopping by! BYE!
